Thinking
of you, wherever you are.
We
pray for our sorrows to end,
and
hope that our hearts will blend.
Now
I will step forward to realize this wish.
And
who knows:
starting
a new journey may not so hard
or
maybe it has already begun.
There
are many worlds,
but
they share the same sky-
one
sky, one destiny.
This
is going to be a personal bombardment of nostalgia and appreciation,
so prepare accordingly! (Read: leave!)
I've always wanted to write down my feelings on Kingdom Hearts as it seems
to be a jumbled mess of nostalgia and joy in my head, and writing it
down will give me something to document and read back on when I need
to smile. This is why I got a blog thing in general, because my
notebooks are spider-scrawls of disjointed notes and mad ramblings.
And
what better time to write about it? I’m really, truly excited for
this Friday, the 13th, the most excited I've been for a game in years
– funny how it's a remaster and not some new title I should be clamouring for. I'm excited to relive the magic, and to hopefully get
some of the carefree joy of being a kid again. To me, Kingdom Hearts
is simply all that I like in one wonderful package; it's colourful,
has good morals, is simple and oozes with charm and comfort. It was
honestly the last game that I remember reading the manual excitedly
on the car ride home, that pleasure that seems to fade out as we grow
older. Maybe it happens to us all, when we lose our lust for games
and life takes over, or maybe manuals and games just don't enthrall me
anymore.
It
was the first RPG I played where I was of a similar age to the
protagonists. Sora and I were 14 when we first played, (a fact I
discovered to my delight reading the manual on aforementioned car
journey home) which made a change to the cool angsty young adults of
the Final Fantasy series that I had grown accustomed to. It sounds
sad to say that I had found a relatable character, but it's true. I
was happy to live through Sora and visit these Disney worlds, and
meet some of my earlier gaming heroes from the Final Fantasy series.
While
I acknowledge that the games themselves are far from masterpieces,
they really do hold a special place in my (kingdom) heart. They’re
personal, and while the gameplay and story is probably nothing to
write home about, I spent a lot of my formulative years with the
series.
It
sounds melodramatic saying this game got me through dark times, and
while I have Sonic Adventure to thank for that (possible future blog
post, if I’m okay with writing/sharing), this game was there before
them, during, and after the stages of my growing up. I don't want to
write on this as a maudlin THIS GAME SAVED MY LIFE account, but
rather... an observation. I started playing this game when I was
still a happy young childish thing, and in the course of waiting for
the sequel I drained every last hour of it, sometimes as on
obsession, sometimes as an escape when things weren't going too well.
What I'm trying to say, I guess is that the game was there, and it
was comforting in the way that watching your favourite Disney movie
or replaying your favourite Final Fantasy is. It sounds lame, but it
works. If only for ten minutes, I could explore Halloweentown
or Hollow Bastion (God how I loved Hollow Bastion) and not worry
about stuff that was going on at that time.
Everyone
loves a castle.
I
think it was one of the first games I truly exhausted as well, while
waiting for the sequel. I beat all secret bosses, I reached level
100, found all 101 dalmatians, completed Hundred Acre Woods,
discovered Deep Dive and in the end, fought Sephiroth for sport. And
still I'd go back. Hollow Bastion was my home away from home! I used
to load the game up just to explore that place, still one of my
favourite video game locations. Imagine my face when the sequel did
eventually come out, after an agonizing wait, to find that Hollow
Bastion was...
Yeah.
A town.
Onto
the history!
THE
HISTORY
On
Christmas Eve, 2001, I was lucky enough to receive a Playstation 2
for my birthday – possibly after months of harking on to my folks.
My 'birthday day' was to then go to Toys R Us to buy myself a game, I
chose SSX Tricky because it had Run DMC on the soundtrack and I was
cool, but it was there that my mum spotted something and called me
over.
On
a small Mickey Mouse shaped television, no bigger than a portable,
was a video looping showing lots of different Disney worlds with some
strange text that didn't really seem to fit in with the images
(Thinking of you, where you are).
Mum
says: 'that looks like your type of game'.
I
kind of gave a halfhearted 'hmm', I was pretty set on SSX rather
than a movie game and I'd probably had enough Disney games on the
Mega Drive and original Playstation (after that awesome PS1 Hercules
game, no other Disney title could come close).
It
was then that I saw Cloud Strife, except with some weird Vincent
fusion going on.
I
said to mum, 'that's Cloud! From Final Fantasy VII!' and she said
that's why she thought it was my type of thing (I have a lot to thank
my mum for, she's the reason I got into Final Fantasy, gaming in
general, and all other stuff). So we stayed for the end of the video,
and as it played, I saw Sora, and a lot of other familiar faces, then
I realized it wasn't some average platformer but something else
entirely.
When
it showed the title Kingdom Hearts at the end, I thought, I must
keep an eye out for this in future.
Time
goes by and fast forward some eleven months... November 25th
2002. We visited a wholesale store called Makro to look at Christmas
decorations, and as usual I'd go look at toys or games, when
something blue and shiny called me with it's unusual cover and pretty
details. I picked the game up, and turned it over, to be faced with
Cloud again, Donald, Sora and Goofy. I had found the game! It was
out! In the days before we had proper internet (you kids don't even
know) I had nothing but occasional magazines glimpses of the game I
had watched equal parts enraptured and confused the Christmas eve
before.
Needless
to say, it was bought, and the rest they say... is history. Except
not here, because I'm going to write about it for another two hours.
I
mentioned earlier about how I devoured the manual on the way home,
and as soon as I got home and helped put the shopping away, I was
even more intrigued and excited to start my journey than ever.
The
title screen loads up... and the very same video I saw in Toys R Us
the year before begins to play.
I
think I first felt beauty that day. Or love. It was the first time
I'd ever felt moved by music. Not even moved like, 'oh wow, this is
nice...' but like, a vacuum. The kind of movement that hits you hard
but leaves you too stunned to react for a good few moments, where the
world seems to be pulled away and leaves you detached in this state
of sadness, ache, and joy. I think it's called awe.
I
realize how melodramatic this sounds, but like I said, this is how I
felt and I want to write it down.
Good
lord that song stirred me, I felt like I'd been punched in the chest
– I still do.
Maybe
it was because I'd waited so long for it, or maybe it was the first
Playstation game I'd played with an orchestrated soundtrack, but
somehow the video with that music just made it so much more...
I'm
really bad with words, but it was like this whole other world had
opened for me. I had always appreciated music in games, the first
songs I taught myself on flute where from FFVII's soundtrack, but
this was something else. This was something... magical. And why the
hell shouldn't it be?!? It was Disney and Final Fantasy, and the
thought that someone across the globe thought to merge these two
amazing worlds together in itself was magical. It was as if someone
thought – hey, there's a girl 3000 miles away who'd love this!,
and it was a thought that I wasn't alone in my love of these things.
This
was pretty much my weekend. Bet you can't guess what I was watching.
To
me, Hikari mixed the soaring urgency of Uematsu's more dramatic
pieces with the whimsy and wonder of the music heard throughout the
Magic Kingdom. Yoko Shimomura was my idol for a while.
You
could say the song means more to me than the game itself, and I guess
it does. As I said, it introduced me to a whole other world of music,
soundtracks were suddenly a huge point for me in games and film.
I
began to teach myself the soundtrack on flute as I had done with
Final Fantasy VII, the only game to reach a similar effect some five
years earlier. And it was sort of through the music that I met my
best friend.
I
sat with him in school for a few lessons anyway, and we'd been
talking – but for me, a major bonding point for us was Kingdom
Hearts. He was the only person I knew who had heard of it. Back when
none of my friends played games, this was a big deal! We were
speaking in biology and I mentioned how I was learning Dearly
Beloved, much discussion ensued and I found that I'd not only
discovered someone who loved the game, but who loved Yoko Shimomura
as well! He even lent me the soundtrack, which helped me learn. We
often said we'd travel to Japan if need be when we were older to see
her in concert. (Eleven years on, we haven't, but we've been to two
Final Fantasy concerts, and a Zelda one, and we met Nobuo Uematsu –
which was far more than I thought we'd ever get!)
When
he left for university, I stayed in my hometown to study. As means of
parting and good luck and all that, we exchanged gifts. I gave him a
Kingdom Hearts bracelet that broke after about twelve seconds, and I
got a necklace that I still like to look at. Look how pretty it is!
So
even now, long after the Kingdom Hearts tide had ebbed, we're still
buds. Obviously we're friends over other things too, but I think that
Kingdom Hearts helped. Maybe I'm just being a sucker for the whole
friendship theme.
Again
with the formulative years. I made friends through Kingdom Hearts
which only seems right seeing as the game endorses it. I fauned over
the guidebook for the pretty artwork and would design my own
Heartless, and ended up drawing a lot of KH related art in my art
GCSE portfolio (don't laugh, we all drew manga or comics or something
in art. Don't deny it.) and even after school had finished, I even
bought myself a Sora Static Arts statue with my first ever wages.
He's still one of my favourite figures, he just looks so happy, and
it always cheers me up to see his perpetual enthusiasm and energy.
Awesome!
Back
to the music! And life lessons!
To
me, Hikari was this intangible piece of heaven incarnate in aural
form. Nothing could tarnish it. Nothing that is, except the original
vocal version on which, to my horror, I found it was based on.
I
had a massive crisis listening to this song, it seemed like this sin
unto the orchestral version even though it technically came before
it, yet there was something of a guilty pleasure in listening to it.
The more I heard it, the more I liked it. Maybe in some weird aural
form of Stockholm Syndrome, I grew to love it. At what I first
dismissed as a tie-in pop song became something that's stuck and
resonated with me through my years. There's one lyric that jars out
in particular, and I seem to keep coming back to.
Whatever
lies beyond this morning is a little later on.
Regardless
of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all.
That's
always stuck with me. I don't know why, but I think it's a nice
little thought to hold onto. Sometimes, when you've got a lot going
on, I wonder... there's no point worrying. I can handle it, I'll deal
with it if, when, as it comes. There's a similar quote from Moby Dick
that I use as a sort of mantra –
I
know not all that may be coming,
but
be it
what it will, I'll go to it laughing.
I
guess that Regardless
reminded me of it, I'd finished reading Moby Dick for the first time
not long before I played Kingdom Hearts.
It's
not just Hikari that hit me in Kingdom Hearts, the whole soundtrack
is great. Each track suits the situation perfectly, be it a jaunty
battle theme, cute Gummi ship tunes, familiar Disney suites, or the
surprisingly dramatic movements (Behind the Door sticks out).
The
ending, as expected, had a wonderful piece as well. March alla
Caprice was an enchanting piece that closed the game up. Set to this
we got to see our worlds-saving efforts appreciated, characters
returning to their own worlds, safe from the darkness... In one part,
Cloud is reunited with Aeris, and Belle with Beast, both two things
close to my heart – my favourites in both Final Fantasy and Disney.
And even after this, when all lose ends tied up, we're treated to
this.
With
a Thank you for Playing screen with a report on how well you did, set
to lovely soft reprise of Dearly Beloved. Bliss.
This
leads me nicely to Kingdom Hearts II. I'm not going to rant on much
about that here, as personally I felt it lacked a lot of the charm of
the first, though it certainly had a lot more style and was still a
pretty awesome game... but I digress...
If
the original Kingdom Hearts was summed up by friendship, and the
tinkly upbeat Dearly Beloved, Kingdom Hearts II was it's older,
world-beaten brother. The game was a lot more emotionally driven, the
character of Roxas brought a lot more sadness with the introduction
of Nobodies. Suddenly, the world of black and white had a lot of
grey, and it gave a lot of depth to the world, and meat to the
series' universe. There were sentient Heartless and Nobodies now,
with an entire Organisation dedicated to existential and emotional
fulfilment. While I think overall I preferred the original's lighter
tone, an edgier game means more dramatic music!
For
starters, Kingdom Hearts II's version of Dearly Beloved is definitely
my favourite. After waiting over four years for the game, I had a
similar moment to the load up of Hikari in Kingdom Hearts I.
Kingdom
Hearts II starts off with a familiar tune but... different. It's
desperately sad, and to me, a little lonely. It shares the same start
up screen to it's predecessor, but the artwork had changed. Sora was
older, I'd grown older. Yet here we both were, same as four
years ago. He's still on that beach and I'm still sat there like a
fool listening to the music in a glazed stupor instead of starting
the damn game.
..
Anyway,
this version of Dearly Beloved was haunting... but amazing, the
reprise even more so. I didn't know what to make of it when I
completed II. I was upset, not because it was over, and not because
it was sad, or short, or not up to my expectations. I was upset in
the way that one is when you finish a book you were really enjoying,
knowing you'll never have the pleasure of reading it for the first
time again. It was leaving the cinema after watching a film on your
own. Again with the music, the reprise still makes me have weird
moments of spontaneous sadness when it comes on Shuffle/Random.
Ow.
My heart.
When
I saw Kingdom Hearts Friend in school the next day, we exchanged a
knowing nod, then hugged. I think it was the first time anyone
probably got me, I guess to anyone else having these strange emotions
over video games was weird.
There's
a big chunk here where life goes, new games, books, movies, and the
odd Kingdom Hearts spin off inbetween. There's still not been a
Kingdom Hearts III, though it's announced, and you better
believe I can't wait to hear that rendition of Dearly Beloved.
I
haven't actually played all of the Kingdom Hearts spin offs, which
probably sounds surprising given how much I'm freaking out over the
series I've played thus far. I've played Chain of Memories, and I
bought Coded for $9 in WalMart last year on holiday, but I've yet to
play Birth by Sleep (I know, I know...) or Dream, Drop, Distance
beyond the opening screen.
Speaking
of which... There's one reason alone to buy Dream, Drop, Distance...
THIS
OPENING.
Good
LORD this opening.
That's
right! Hikari!
Wait,
wait! Let me explain!
Dream,
Drop, Distance marked Kingdom Hearts' 10th Anniversary.
Now, you can imagine how that made me feel given the ramblings above.
I had all the expected thoughts – I've known Kingdom Hearts
Friend for a decade, where does the time go? Where's Kingdom Hearts
III? Etc.
In
all seriousness, the opening video sums up everything I love about
the series. There's five games in that opening, all summed up to one
of the most important songs to me. I picked up Dream, Drop after I
came home from America, having visited – you guessed it – the
Happiest Place on Earth. I was already emotionally challenged from
there, being both post-high euphoric from a wonderful time and
nigh-on suicidal with thoughts of returning to real life.
Anyway,
my favourite Mickey is Sorcerer Mickey, and I really wasn't expecting
much out of Dream, Drop from it's average reviews, and being stuck
with the spin-off stigma. So, cue the game starting up - 10th
anniversary graphic, to Sorcerer Mickey with Hikari then recapping
the series history. It was a tribute to itself, and I'm so happy they
included that. I honestly haven't even played the game since buying
it, but it was worth the price for that cinematic alone.
I
realize how much this blog has been me pouring over the music rather
than the games, but I guess it's easier for music to recall memories.
I also realize how much this blog makes me sound like a dreadful
fangirl, but at least I obsess over the music rather than
Organisation shipping. As unbelievable as this sounds after writing
War and Peace on my hysteria and emotional flooding, I'd like to
point out that I am really not that passionate in real life. You try
talking about this stuff in real life and are met with blank stares,
and although my dad listens intently – I feel like I'm speaking
Korean to him sometimes. Again, this is why I wanted the blog – so
I can talk to myself where it's slightly more coherent than loose
sheets of paper with illegible writing and even less intelligible
thoughts. After all, I agree with me!
So
with all this said, I really can't wait to relive it on Friday. I'm
even considering taking a few days off work to play it. I feel like
we all need someone like Sora, he reminds me of what I was just over
ten years ago, indeed all teenagers growing up - happy, carefree, and
about to take on adult responsibility. Sora does it with fervour,
nothing gets him down, and regardless of warnings, the future doesn't
scare him at all. As corny as it is, I've taken a lot of comfort from
the series, and I hope to return to it come Friday. Provided I don't collapse into a puddle of feelings when I play it, I may even return and update this sometime.
